Inquisitive Quest

1217 Blue Daisy Way

.  There must have been meaning in the statement, ‘the third time is the charm”,  Gary finally  having retired,  able to subjugate his daily activities.  Reading was a priority,  attempting to be an extravagant reader through most of his life, now able to reread many of the books from his childhood days that constituted and established many of his acquired values.   Fran finding a 24 volume set of the Walter R Brooke’s  “Freddy” series  on E-bay,  the classic’s beginning in 1927,  the series a prize for a young fourth grader.   An enjoyment to reread and reflect on Brooke’s writings,  realizing  it was a contributing factor to his character and moral standards.  Fran searching again, able to find the missing editions in his collected 15 volume set of Robert Sidney Bowen’s’ 1941 to 1946 World war 2 epic series of Dave Dawson on E-bay.  With the new Bowen additions,  his collection complete save one,  the 15th novel in the series,  “Dave Dawson at Truk, the seller asking $700 for the edition.

.  As a youngster the wartime adventure series sparked Gary interest along with the Japanese military items his father had acquired during World War II in Saipan, Okinawa and Korea.  In the early 60’s having read William Shirer’s ‘The rise and fall of the Third Reich, his World War II interest was again aroused pursuing a military history ambition subscribing to the Military History Book Club at a time when every retired German or Allied field grade officer authored a book of their WWII experiences.  Having one more literary collectible desire,  Fran again searching and finding the 54 volume edition of   “The Great Books of the Western World“.   A display of the works of Plato,  Homer,  Aristotle, Archimedes,  Newton,  Shakespeare, Tolstoy,  Marx and many others, the list goes on,  the writing of those in history that formed the course of western civilization.

.  Gary for some reason wasn’t surprised, daughter Marlo announcing she was once again an expectant mother,  a prodigious acclamation for someone who had reached the age of forty.   Parker Aaron Denton gracing life with his appearance on July 8th 2010,  an equanimity in,  that Chris and Marlo were once again blessed with another son  after experiencing the tragedy and loss of  Garrett.  It was expected, Gary’s son Rob called announcing that he and Nancy would be getting married,  and to expect an invitation in the mail.  Receiving the October 3, 2010  summons, Gary apologetic telling his son, he and Fran would be unable to attend mainly because of financial reasons,  the reality being Fran’s health had taken a turn for the worse,  and although she prodded Gary to go,  he was steadfast in remaining with her.  Those in attendance that Gary knew,  was daughter Sandra, husband Jeremy and son Brennan,  his exwife, Rob’s  mother Jan and husband Burton Smith.

.  In 2011 the communique from Wichita Kansas was a surprise,  arresting and prodigious,  Gary’s youngest daughter Sandra was expecting again,  having imparted but to a few that she was again with child.  August 18th 2011, Karsen Nikola Birzer,  weighing 6 lbs. 5 Oz,  announced his debut to this world.   Gary blithe with the announcement, Brennan now having a younger brother,  experiencing the closeness of his son Robert and daughter Sandra,  their birth dates being a year and a little over three weeks apart,  the two growing up in accordance, be able to share many of the adolescent  joys of childhood   Another new addition to a Willson family,  a first for Nancy and Rob,  Gabriella Grace weighing 7 lbs. 4 oz., 20 inches at 1:43 p.m. arriving on May 26, 2013,  Gary’s grandchildren totaling 7, Fran’s numbering 8

Life was attenuated in Modesto,  Gary having adjusted his retirement life style,  continuing to chronicle an autobiography of his life,  starting with his first recollections and remembrances as a child.  With both he and Fran somewhat subject to a solitary life,  the distance of their  immediate family for the most part remaining over a financial horizon,  except for an occasional trip to visit his sister Nancy and mother in Columbia and a possible venture to Oregon to visit Fran’s daughters.   Memorial Day remained special, the couple and their canines would journey to Sunset Cemetery outside of Jackson in Amador County to visits Gary’s father’s final resting place.

.  The drive north on highway 99,  turning east on 88, had special meaning,  Gary having honored his father every year since returning to California,  the placing of dime coins around his father’s place marker,  a ritual performed,  its meaning initiated by his Dad’s esoteric assuetude started in 1947,  embedding dime coins in the branches of the youthful weeping willow tree at their Greenly Drive home in Oakland to mark it growth.  The symbolic placing of coins never-failing to bring a tear, a symbolic tribute to an everlasting childhood memory,  and the consequential fact of his  failure to find time to know his Father , and what could have been,  should have been, never prevailed.

..The month of July is always eventful, hosting birthday dates for Gary’s two sons,  Scott, and  Rob,   daughters Marlo, Sandra, Gary’s Mother, his sister Katherine, Grandson Parker, and Gary and Fran’s 15 year anniversary on the 30^th.  It was Monday, July 14^th,  2014. The afternoon temperature having acquired the 100 degree mark, Fran having changed into her swimming suit,  declaring she was going in the pool, Gary at the computer  in the spare bedroom,  working on an  Inquisitive Quest chapter revision,  relating he would join her.  With Gary’s arrival, the cool water refreshing, Fran having situated herself floating in her large inner tube, taking in the sun, the cool water refreshing.  The two continuing,  Gary finally,  deciding to go in, take a shower,  and resume his project on the computer, Fran saying she would be in shortly.

..Gary was on his computer when Fran poked her head in saying she was going to the shower, entering the master bedroom across the hall  closing the door.  Gary continuing his undertaking, the time passing, then it occurred to him that it had been twenty or thirty minutes and he hadn’t noticed or heard Fran come out of the master bedroom.  Getting up, the bedroom door was still closed,   entering he walked towards the open bathroom door, there laid Fran,  having removed her clothes in preparation for her shower, face down on the floor.   Immediately trying to get a response,  but to no avail, she wasn’t breathing, his first thought was chest compression’s, but the narrow  confines of the doorway prevented him from turning her over.  He rushed across the hall to a phone,  dialing 911 as he returned giving the address,  telling dispatcher that his wife was unresponsive.  The dispatcher beginning to asked questions, Gary responding that he had to get her out of the door way to turn her over and couldn’t talk anymore.  He began his attempts to pull her out of the bathroom, but to no avail, Fran was heavier than him and because of her total relaxed restriction he couldn’t get any leverage to move her, he needed   help.

..Running next door, Julie answering the door, Gary briefly saying he needed Brian,  her husband’s help,  that he found Fran on the floor and she wasn’t responsiveness, Brian coming to the door.  The three rushing back, and were in the process of moving her into the bedroom when the ambulance responders made their presence known, the ambulance having arrived from its parked station on County Center Street. eight blocks away.  Gary watching as the paramedics beginning as the fire departments rescue unit arrived taking charge,  continuing the protocol. a fireman looking up, the look in his eyes confirming what he already conceived , she was gone and with her his world.  Taken aside, the responders asking if they could continue their protocol even though she was gone.   Nodding,  at that point nothing mattered,  the reality of what was happening was blanketed with the numbing detachment of actuality.   It was the muffled sound of Fran’s little Hope’s barking at the responders from beneath the bed ,  that finally got Gary’s attention and awakening him to the reality and the necessity to grasp the situation.

..It was six o’clock when Eaton Family Funeral and Cremation Service departed with Fran, Gary having called Eaton’s about their service,  making an appointment to meet with Michael Eaton to discuss arrangements the following day.   As of yet,  not making an attempt to notify any family, waiting until the traffic cleared from the house.   The activity having ceased, alone with his thoughts, the stillness in the house unveiling a cloak of solitariness, Gary in silent prayer asking the Lord for the endurance to cope with the task set before him.   The process of calling beginning,  with some difficulty, finally able to reach Fran’s two brothers,  Ray and Bob, daughters Jeannette, Donna, and a call to his mother, followed by his son Robert, and daughter Marlo, not getting a hold of son Scott but Marlo would convey Fran’s passing to her brother.  The following afternoon, Gary meeting with Michael Eaton at their Modesto 12th street sanctuary, relating his desire to abide with his wife’s wishes to be cremated with no service.  Michael providing an explanation of what documents needed to be secured, who to notify, concluding with the mortuary’s cost and a final resolution time frame.

..A feeling of  despair prevailing, Gary thankful for the companionship of Carli and little Hope, at least he wasn’t alone,  the two joining him to the county records office to pick up copies of the death certificate and to  the social security  office.  Having conveyed Fran’s desires to Donna in Cloverdale Oregon, referencing the numerous family items and collectibles, a seeming endless array of 45 and LP records,  clothes and other items,  including Fran’s mothers china that she proudly displayed in a China-cabinet.  The difficult subject of Fran’s internment    remains inaugurated, Gary aspiring to do what was acceptable to the family,  adding that Fran’s only request was the ashes of her beloved dog Sammie, who had passed the year before would be with her.  Donna expressing that she and Randy would bring Fran home with them, and determine a suitable final resting place at a later date.

..Fran’s daughters arriving Tuesday, Donna, husband Randy;  Jeanette, husband Eric;  the youngest Karen and surprisingly Fran’s first husband, Dick Wilcoxson, the girl’s father.  Gary having acknowledge Dick’s presence once before in Florida, Dick happening by as the couple prepared for a garage sale, Fran having mentioned that his mother resided up the street on Granada Drive.  The family bringing in boxes, spending several hours packing and loading a lifetime of accumulated possessions. filling a trailer they had arrived with. Gary deciding not to witness the activity,  he,  Carli and Hope remaining out by the pool.  The following morning their foraging having been completed,  Jeanette, Eric, Karen and Dick  returning to Jeanette’s residence in John Day, Donna and Randy to wait on the interment remains scheduled to arrive Thursday afternoon .  Gary making his final journey to the Eaton Family Funerals location for Fran, Donna and Randy patiently waiting, somewhat anxious to get started on their return to Oregon, entrusting them with the stewardship of Fran and her loving Sammie’s interment remains.  He watched as the car pulled away, once again adrift in the world traumatic reality of the past events, a sense of desolation shrouding him, alone except for the companionship of Carli and little Hope, still unable to release the withheld emotional grievance within.

..Gary having spoken with his daughters earlier, his son Rob calling, asserting he and 14 month old granddaughter Gabby would arrive Friday from Fort Worth,  explaining his visit would be brief,  having to return Sunday, relating he had secured hotel reservation, thinking it was best  because it was the first time he and Gabby had traveled alone and as a novice not knowing what to expect.  Arriving, the three journeyed to his sister Nancy’s in Columbia,  Gary’s mom rejoicing at meeting her newest great-granddaughter.  Saturday evening the son and granddaughter enjoying the pool, Gary declining, the pool  a reminder of his last afternoon with Fran, and the many “if’s” that questioned within that might have made a difference.  Rob’s visit was short but a blessing, bringing a much-needed relief from the concealed sadness, and the silent emptiness that one feels when part of you is gone.  Gary alone in his thoughts, questioning his station, thankful for the support and condolences from his friends and family with exception of his oldest son Scott,  who never called or in any way acknowledged  her passing.

..At times the house on Blue Daisy Way would take on a stillness, and in its silence Gary found Fran still there, the residence was her domain, the chosen furnishings,  the yard sprinkler system and patio stones a result of her labors, the peg board in the garage, the arrangement of every shelf, even the presence Carli and Hope all results of Fran.  With time the inner feeling of loss lessened but never subsiding, she was the first and only person in his life he was able to totally assimilate with and most likely the reason he always presented her to others “as the smartest person I know”.   Their meeting filled a void in his life,  but her unexpected passing left an emptiness that knew no bounds, and sadly…… he never had a chance to say goodbye…….